From Anxious to Free: My Healing Journey ❤️‍🩹

For years, I carried the weight of an anxious attachment style—shaped in childhood, where I learned that love had to be earned.

I thought I had to perform, please, and achieve to be worthy of affection. In my family dynamic, being ‘good’ meant being approved of.

So I became everything to everyone—except myself.

That belief quietly followed me into adulthood. I found myself drawn to avoidant, emotionally unavailable partners—one in particular, who breadcrumbed me for years.

He ran from our connection, unable to face intimacy because of his own childhood wounds. And I stayed, thinking if I could just love him enough, he’d stay.

But love that comes from fear and self-abandonment isn’t love—it’s survival.

I broke. I cried in therapy. I unravelled it all. I let myself grieve. I got honest. I sat with pain I’d spent a lifetime avoiding.

Slowly, gently, I found my way back to me. I began to reflect. I revived old passions. I stopped abandoning myself.

As I healed, I started to see things more clearly. So many of my friends were in similarly unhealthy, unhealed relationships—often with dismissive partners.

Couples who distract themselves with flashy holidays and expensive buys, anything to avoid sitting still long enough to reflect or face the truth. It’s so obvious to me now. And honestly, it’s tragic.

I hope they find their way to therapy one day. But that’s not my responsibility. It’s not my job to save anyone.

So I let go.

There’s such peace in detachment. In choosing yourself. For anxious, empathic souls, learning to love yourself is the turning point. It’s not easy—but it’s everything.

Now, I no longer chase, shrink or bend. I’m no longer desperate to be chosen.

I choose me. And in doing so, I’ve never felt more free.

I’m so proud of how far I’ve come. I’ve moved on, broken the cycle, and finally—I’m happy.

TR