I wish I’d known what it actually takes to get over an avoidant. The truth is, it’s surprisingly simple. It’s also one of the hardest things you’ll ever do. For a long time, I thought healing would come from getting answers, having one last conversation, or finally making them understand what they’d done. I thought closure was something they could give me. It isn’t. Real healing starts when you stop asking questions about them and start asking questions about yourself.

The Stages of Surviving an Avoidant Ex

Maybe Hate Is the Last Stage Before Letting Go of your Avoidant Ex

Getting over a dismissive avoidant can feel horrific. It has taken me decades to truly understand and process what happened to me — the incredible connection, the passion, the intensity, followed by the discard, the confusion, the breadcrumbing. My nervous system was shot to pieces. My mental health collapsed. I was prescribed psychiatric drugs that only added another layer of suffering through side effects, withdrawals, and emotional numbness. For years, I lived in apathy.