There is a particular kind of grief that comes from loving an avoidant partner. Not the explosive kind. The quiet kind. The kind that makes

How to Spot a Dismissive Avoidant (It’s Easy When You Know How)

I hear it in close relationships all the time. The constant references to the ex. The one they ran from. The one who “freaked them out.” T

your ex is an actor who can't do real love

Dismissive avoidants in relationships

How Do You Know When You’ve Finally Processed What Happened With Your Avoidant Ex?

Imagine your ex’s pain years on

The festive season has a way of making everything feel softer. The lights, the music, the nostalgia — and suddenly you’re holding your phone

A Letter to the Dismissive Avoidant Who Ran From Love You ran from love. Not because it wasn’t real, but because it was. Your nervous syst

The Deadly Disease of “Being Busy” There is a deadly disease running through relationships, business, and modern life. It’s called being bu

When Forgiveness Finally Lands

Letting Go — For Good There comes a point when you simply have to drop the whole thing. The labels. The analysing. The endless “my ex was avoidant,” “a narcissist,” “covert this,” “emotionally unavailable that.” Yes, I had an anxious attachment style. Yes, I understand why. Yes, I can see some of my unhealed avoidant friends still heading straight into emotional car crashes. Yes, I’ve watched people reject real love in favour of doormats or other avoidant partners, and yes

Silence stretches. The avoidant stares at the floor. Avoidant: What… what have I done? Their voice cracks. Therapist: You spent your whole life trying to hide from yourself. The avoidant’s face collapses. The anger drains. The armor finally gives way. They sob. And sob. And sob. The therapist quietly reaches over, hands them a tissue. Therapist: You ran from love. You ran from truth. You ran from pain you never learned how to hold. The avoidant can barely breathe now.

Because for decades, the avoidant has been utterly convinced there is nothing wrong with them. They’re strong. Independent. Sorted. Above emotions. Immune to messiness. They’ve got life figured out, thank you very much.

The Apology You Deserve The apology you deserve. I wrote to you once before, and I realise now it wasn’t enough. This is the apology I should have given you a long time ago. My behaviour after I broke your heart—after I panicked and ran from real love—was deeply unfair and, honestly, horrendous. I see that now. I’ve finally gone to therapy, and for the first time I truly understand how much damage I caused you, not just by leaving, but by everything I did afterward. A few

THE LETTER YOU DESERVE FROM YOUR AVOIDANT EX (that you will never receive)

On the Boredom of Realizing What You Can’t Fix There’s a particular moment in healing when the drama you used to mistake for intimacy suddenly becomes… boring. I’ve watched the dismissive–avoidant pattern play out enough times now to see it for what it is: not a mystery, not a riddle, not some grand romantic tragedy—just an emotional dead end. A dismissive-avoidant partner cannot offer real love until they choose to face themselves. And the partner who stays, demanding noth

The Slow Unraveling: What Happens to the Partner of a Dismissive-Avoidant Over Time Dismissive-avoidant patterns don’t usually explode; the

Dismissive avoidants don’t listen

The Illusion Shatters: Letting Go of the Ex You Thought You Knew