The Stages of Surviving an Avoidant Ex

Getting over a dismissive avoidant can feel horrific. It has taken me decades to truly understand and process what happened to me — the incredible connection, the passion, the intensity, followed by the discard, the confusion, the breadcrumbing. My nervous system was shot to pieces. My mental health collapsed. I was prescribed psychiatric drugs that only added another layer of suffering through side effects, withdrawals, and emotional numbness. For years, I lived in apathy.

Unlike many avoidant people, who spend their lives avoiding themselves, their emotions, and their patterns. And ultimately, that becomes their burden to carry — not yours.

For the first time in what honestly feels like decades, I have a sense of being clear-headed—something close to what I imagine “normal” must