Your Avoidant Ex: Why It’s Pointless Calling Them Out!

Calling out a dismissive avoidant is almost always pointless.

You can predict their reaction before you even open your mouth. They don’t self-reflect, they don’t look inward, and they definitely don’t want to examine why they behave the way they do.

When confronted, they default to avoidance, minimisation, or pretending things are “fine.”

Essentially you’ll get three responses:

SILENCE (ghosting, blocking, ignoring).

DISMISSAL (anger, gaslighting, blaming).

Or

DENIAL (I’m fine, there’s nothing wrong with me).

It’s honestly laughable. They are so wounded and damaged that they’ve buried their emotional world so deep you couldn’t access it with a nuclear bomb 💣😂.

I recently called someone out who walked away from the love of their life and ended up with another avoidant partner.

Their relationship is a predictable joke, but when I pointed out the obvious pattern, their response was the classic dismissive line: “We’re good at the moment.” It’s laughable. It’s a textbook way of dodging any real conversation or accountability.

That’s why engaging with them is so frustrating.

They think they’ve got everything under control, but they keep sabotaging the people who try to get close. And anyone who shows up in an intimate loving way gets gaslit, pushed away and shoved in a box that they try (and totally fail) to forget about 😂.

They continue to push real love away (except doormat partners who demand no closeness and other avoidants) then wonder why they panicked and ran from real love when they had it.

The pattern will continue to repeat until they decide to face it—if they ever do.

They portray to the world a picture of such bliss - great jobs, money, “independence” , marriage, kids etc, but they fail at the one thing that’s important - REAL love. It’s tragic really but also hilariously funny when you work them out 😂.

The most freeing thing you can do is let them go. Let them hit the brick wall they’re running straight into. Let them dig their grave into the emotional, sexless, conectionless abyss.

Let them carry on with their emotional circus and the performance they put on for themselves.

It’s not fooling anyone but them. Their choices, their loss. You don’t need to stick around and watch the same cycle play out again and again.

So sit back on the fringes and laugh! Put your feet up and credit yourself for seeing through the bullshit 😂.

Even pity falls by the wayside at this point. You told them, you showed them. You advised them to seek therapy and they dismissed you.

You couldn’t have done any more. So wave goodbye and enjoy the peace. ✌️

TR