Healed, Unbothered and Utterly Over It: The Day You Outgrew Your Avoidant Ex

You know you’ve properly healed when you’ve done so much inner work, read all the books, sat through the therapy sessions (some of them basically on their behalf), and you end up understanding your emotionally avoidant ex better than they understand themselves.

At first, it’s maddening. There you are, having actual epiphanies, connecting the dots of your childhood wounds, setting boundaries like a grown-up — while they’re out there ghosting emotional intimacy like it’s an ex they’d rather not acknowledge. Classic.

But then something shifts. One day, almost casually, you realise: their tortured, elusive “depth” — which once felt so alluring — is actually just… a lack of emotional capacity wrapped in vague text messages and abandonment issues.

And the mystery? It’s not sexy anymore. It’s exhausting. It’s beige. It’s giving “man-child in a crisis” rather than “Mr independent with a rich inner world”.

What’s more, you start to see the whole charade for what it is. You watch, with something bordering on clinical detachment, as they repeat their same old patterns — prioritising safety over love, desperately seeking validation through status, image, persona… it’s all a massive hoax.

And the most delightful bit? You no longer care. Not even slightly.

There’s no bitterness. No longing. Just a cool sort of clarity that says: “Ah. I see what this is now. And I’m not signing up for that again.”

That, my friend, is when you know you’re free. Not just “blocked them on WhatsApp” free — but soul level, sipping-your-coffee-in-peace, couldn’t-give-a-toss kind of free.

You didn’t just dodge a bullet. You evolved out of the entire dynamic. And frankly, nothing’s more attractive than that.

As for the blind partner they choose? The one who demands nothing, doesn’t challenge them, who puts up with emotional distance, breadcrumbs of connection and zero intimacy? Oh dear. Shame on you 🤣 🤣