Dismissive Avoidant Ex? How to break free - for GOOD!

There comes a moment when you just say sod it—not out of anger, but from a place of clarity.

When you’ve been involved with a dismissive avoidant, it feels like you’re constantly reaching for someone who keeps backing away. You try to talk, to understand, to be patient, to hold on—but it’s never quite enough, because they never truly let you in.

And for a while, (perhaps even years) you stay stuck—trapped by breadcrumbs. The occasional message, a flicker of warmth, the “almosts” that kept your hope alive.

Just enough to make you stay, never enough to truly feel secure. It’s utterly cruel of them because they aren’t thinking about your feelings only theirs.

They don’t self reflect at all which keeps you living for the rare moments they show up, twisting yourself into knots trying to be “easy” or “low maintenance” just to keep them from disappearing again.

They may even gaslight you as “confrontational” when all along it’s THEM that can’t do emotional intimacy because of their unwillingness to confront their unhealed wounds.

But … eventually, you reach a point—not because you’ve stopped caring, but because you’ve started caring more about yourself.

That’s when it clicks:You don’t need to keep chasing answers from someone who’s always dodged them. You don’t need to keep proving your worth to someone who was never fully honest.

You don’t need to keep quiet just to keep peace with someone who couldn’t hold space for your feelings.

So, you take your power back.

You turn inward and start tending to the parts of you that felt ignored, unloved, or dismissed—not just by them, but maybe long before them,

too.

You begin to see the pattern. You stop trying to fix them, and start healing yourself.

That’s when freedom really begins. When your energy stops leaking out trying to earn love, and instead goes into becoming the person you need.

You start setting boundaries—not to push others away, but to protect the peace you’re building for yourself. You let go—not because they didn’t matter, but because you matter more.

And the closure you were waiting for from them? You give it to yourself. That’s strength. That’s healing. That’s finally moving on.

I’m finally at this point - I literally said SCREW IT, and now I’m reclaiming ME.

TR