Romantic Relationships: A Final Farewell to the Avoidant

The avoidant discards you in silence—cold, sudden, often without warning. And just when you're starting to breathe again, they breadcrumb you.

A message here, a memory there. They don’t do it out of malice. They do it because, deep down, they do love you—but they are a scared child trapped in an adult body, terrified of abandonment, terrified of being seen. Because if you really saw them, they'd believe you'd see what they see in themselves: something defective, unworthy, unlovable.

And in the end, I did see it.

I saw beneath the defenses. The withdrawal. The aloofness. The push-pull cycle that held me hostage emotionally. I saw the fear behind the façade. And seeing it so clearly is what set me free.

My avoidant hurt me deeply. Words left unsaid. Needs unmet. Affection rationed. I kept thinking I could hold out somehow, prove myself worthy of his consistency. But I realise now: it was never about my worth. It was about his fear.

Now, I finally let go.

I’m no longer holding onto scraps. No longer waiting for a text, a change, a realisation that may never come. I don't even care if he goes to therapy. I don’t wonder if he’ll ever wake up and confront the pain he’s buried. That’s not my story to fix. That’s his work—if he ever chooses to do it. (Unlikely)!!!

What matters is me.

The work I’ve done. The reflection, the emotional labour, the willingness to feel the suffering and not run. That’s what sets me apart. That’s what makes me free.

Today, I take the other road. The one that leads forward, away from the past and its aching echoes. Away from someone who feared closeness more than they ever valued connection. I feel nothing now—not anger, not longing. Just peace.

This was the hardest battle of my life. But I won.

And now, I walk ahead—unburdened, whole, and free.

TR