• Tom Robinson

Sleep - I need three things: a spiritual psychiatrist, a functional medic/psychiatrist & more of it!

It's been an odd few weeks for me sleep-wise and here I am again wide-awake at 05.30 with a bipolar brain that refuses to sleep for more than six hours.


I suppose six hours isn't bad - it certainly beats ZERO hours which was the amount I was getting for weeks-on-end when trying to withdraw from the antipsychotic 'quetiapine'... NEVER AGAIN!


So, I know this current sleep pattern has nothing to do with medication since I managed to finally extricate myself from mind numbing (zombifying) quetiapine last August, and since November I've been pretty much sleeping for seven to eight hours a night.


[There is a little bit of me that thinks that quetiapine has permanently decimated my sleep pattern but I'm trying to ignore that philosophy - hmmm .. but could that nagging voice be right I wonder?]









What else could it be?


I'm so sick of the basic, totally useless, and ineffective advice in the media (and from 'professionals' for that matter) when it comes to getting good quality sleep.


Nearly all the stuff they say is the equivalent of putting a sticking plaster on a broken leg!


Totally useless for the seriously affected!


I read a whole book devoted to sleep last year and the only thing I learnt was that I shouldn't have a TV in my room and I should avoid 'blue light'.


I have never had a TV in my room and I read a paperback book every night - I still have nights of complete insomnia and no amount of technology abstinence is going to change that! What a waste of time reading that book was!


Sleep advice for those with mental illness has got to be so much better than this!!!!


Anyway, because I'm sleep deprived right now (and I am trying to follow my own advice of 'getting out of the thinking mind'), I'm simply going to make a list of 'possibles', sign off, and see if I can get another hour's sleep - yer right!


So here goes:


Could this sleep ineptness be to do with the:



  • Amount of salt in my diet


  • Amount of refined sugar in my diet


  • Anticipation


  • Lack of exercise


  • Over-thinking mind


  • Astrology and spiritual alignment



Ok, as ever, writing is helping this morning since I hadn't really got a clue what was going on until I started bashing out this post and now I'm seeing it more clearly.


I am not having a problem with getting to sleep which makes me think that it isn't anything to do with the first four - If it was then I wouldn't be getting to sleep as easily as I am.


Regarding points 1 & 2 - I do still want to see a functional medic ... I've already cut out all caffeine and alcohol, but I want to know more about diet and the gut-brain axis - I've told myself that if I ever earn one penny out of this mental health mission then I'm having an appointment with one!


As for exercising, I am exercising everyday (although sometimes I'd like to walk in the afternoon and I'm not able to since I'm having to factor in a nap - I don't sleep at all if I haven't retrained the brain to switch off for half an hour in the day) - keeping the bipolar equilibrium is a full-time job!


So, I doubt it's lack of exercise but I'll try to do more...


If it was anticipation then I wouldn't be able to get to sleep so it's not that...


I'm grounding myself every day and have cut back on commitments so that I can get out of the thinking mind, so it's not that either...


And that leaves astrology and spiritual alignment.





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Woo-woo or spiritual awakening?


I've mentioned this before and I discuss it in my book (that will be being published posthumously at this rate)...but spirituality and mental illness are directly linked.


I know this, not only because of my own manic experiences, but also because I've read from other resources like those of Dr Russell Razzaque who wrote the amazing Breaking Down is Waking Up.


{Here's a revelation for you - bipolar isn't mental illness - it's spiritual awakening... GO FIGURE!!}


Since it dawned on me that the bipolar brain is sensitive to EVERYTHING it made sense to me that it would be sensitive to other dimensions too - and it is.


Non-believers just take my word for it and be done!


Interestingly, spiritual leader Elizabeth Peru has been writing quite a bit about sleep patterns recently and she notes that there has been a lot going on cosmically since the 22.02.22 which is the night when all of this started.


On that night I slept for three hours and ever since it's been about five or six - there's too much coincidence in this, even for the cynics!


Anyway, Elizabeth Peru explains that there is a full moon coming as well as the spring equinox, which explains the heightened energy.


She says:


Are you experiencing trouble sleeping right now? Many are. The current energetics can feel unsettling, as they're stirring up your shadow, so that you can clear your limitations.

Seeing as all psychiatrists (bar one) have made my condition WORSE over the years, I will not be rushing out to see one in order to sort out this sleep pattern!


Nor will I be taking a bloody pill!!!!


NO FU&£ing WAY!!


So, I am going to completely relax about all of it.


I am managing it.


There is a reason for it.


My mood is perfectly fine.


I know this to be right and things will sort themselves out on their own.



Once again, writing that down has helped me enormously this morning.


I feel completely different after releasing my thoughts onto the page (everyone should journal) and am just going to practice everything that works for me and, most of all, continue to be the EXPERT of MYSELF!


Thanks for reading,


Speak to you soon,

TR

www.dyingtostayalive.com



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