🖤 Marrying “nice”…. Why it’s a disaster!

So, the dismissive avoidant finally settled down.

They found someone “nice.” Someone who doesn’t ask for too much.

Someone who never questions the silence or the emotional distance. Who accepts the breadcrumbs of affection. Who doesn’t need closeness — or at least pretends not to.

It looks peaceful from the outside.

No fights. No tears. Just two people coexisting, quietly.

Like roommates who share a mortgage, a pet dog and an empty bed.

But what they call “peace” is actually the slow death of aliveness.

A slow, quiet death. Zero sex, ZERO passion, zero connection. It’s basically a sham. A farce of their own making.

Because love without depth isn’t peace — it’s numbness dressed as safety.

There’s no real connection there, no real intimacy. Just two egos keeping each other comfortable. The dismissive avoidant gets to stay untouched, unchallenged, unhealed. The “nice” partner gets to say they’re loved — without ever experiencing the passion of real love.

Meanwhile, the one who truly loved them — the one the dismissive avoidant pushed away and gaslit — goes to therapy.

They do the hard work. They feel the grief, face the mirror, heal the attachment wounds.

They learn that love is not supposed to hurt, not supposed to feel like starvation.

They realise the ghosting, freaking out and pulling away was never about them - it was about the massively unhealed ex who couldn’t hold real love.

That discarded partner becomes the only one who sees clearly.

Because they refused to settle for half-love.

They refused to confuse emotional distance with strength.

They outgrew the story — and in doing so, they won 🏆.

Everyone else loses.

The avoidant loses the chance to ever know real intimacy.

Their “nice” spouse loses the chance to ever be truly seen, or experience real love.

And the relationship itself? It dies quietly, from lack of oxygen.

But the one who left? The one who faced their pain, learned, grew, and loved again — that’s the real victory.

Not because they “moved on,” but because they woke up. They HEALED.

They learned what real love is — and more importantly, what it isn’t.

And that’s it really…. ✌️.

Boom 💥