• Tom Robinson

Relationships post major trauma, illness, survival & recovery: not at all straightforward either!

Updated: Jan 28

As I have mentioned in some of my previous posts, relationships with other people are most certainly the root cause of my bipolar illness and (although it's complicated) I believe it's the same for nearly everyone else (if they only dug deep enough into the wound of mental illness to analyse it).


So, as I go forward, one of my MAJOR priorities is working on STABLE relationships.


This has meant cutting some people out altogether - not ruthlessly binning people - just consciously being selective about who I decide to have in my life and who I'm keeping at a distance.


But there's a major problem I'm coming up against (of course there is) as I dip my toe back into society and renew old friendships and acquaintances because most of them;


Cannot relate to what I've been through in even the smallest way




It's not just because they haven't had mental illness, been through the traumatic system, suffered from terrible iatrogenic harm and injustice that they can't relate to me, it's because (most of them) haven't been through any significant trauma at all, let alone the LOSS, pain and suffering that accompanies any severe and/or prolonged illness.


Also, like most people who are fortunate to have been in good health for most of their lives, they are not particularly sympathetic towards illness in any way at all!

So this poses a problem because now that I am finally better I recognise that I am not the same person BUT they haven't changed or developed internally at all!


Having so nearly died and pretty much lost everything to bipolar disorder (career, money, relationships, etc, etc) I've had to find pleasure in the smallest of things such as nature, books and simple comforts (bed, a shower, being able to breathe, get out of bed, appreciate the sunrise and so forth)...


They however, still want cars, houses, skiing holidays, boyfriends, girlfriends, wives, husbands, children, holiday homes, blah, blah, blah to make them happy; their priorites are completely different - and I'm just not sure I relate to any of that crap anymore!


They also derive their self-worth, self-esteem and status out of these things too which I find laughable after what I've been through... but none of this is their fault - they just haven't had the opportunity to wake up...

I still love my friends and will always be there for them, but there's a boundary between us which I don't think they even begin to recognise!


HOWEVER - there are certain people who have evolved mentally, intellectually & spiritually in the 20 years that I've been going hell and we seem to gravitate towards each other like bees to honey...


These select individuals immediately understand things on a much deeper level and see the world in a completely different way.





Waking up...


What I'm really talking about is AWAKENING which is what needs to happen across the board if we are going to be able to collaborate when tackling some of the major issues in society today (environment, Covid & mental illness being three of the most pressing ones).


This post is only a short mention of a topic which I could bang on about for hours, but I thought it worth a mention this morning since spotting the above image on social media.


What people need to know is that although trauma and suffering is obviously horrendous, it is also the gateway to awakening which, once you gain access to it, you will see life in a completely different way.


For those who haven't been through deep pain and suffering, the gate is still accessible if only they take the time to reflect and study their internal world with introspection - I don't hold out masses of hope for these low vibrational souls but there is always a chance I suppose!


Anyway, there is an important message in here for those that are in hell right now which is that there are hidden bonuses to pain and suffering if only we open our eyes wide enough and HOLD ON for long enough, so never ever give up hope!


Thanks for reading,


Speak to you soon,

TR

www.dyingtostayalive.com




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