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  • Writer's pictureTom Robinson

Detachment from the tribal wave...

Living on the suicidal death boundary for a prolonged period of time and surviving changes a person so much that they no longer belong to society.

This is both good and bad! Like everything in life, every gain also equals a loss.

What you gain through deep suffering (if you can survive it long enough and learn from it) is wisdom. What you lose is belonging.

But.. while you gain wisdom you also lose FEAR.

If you no longer fear anything, you defeat desire. If you defeat desire you defeat loss.

The balance is finding motivation at this point because if you no longer 'want' then you lose motivation! If you lose motivation and ambition then what is the point of continuing?! It basically comes right round to death again!

This is where you either devote your life to religion (also fraught with deception and deceit) or become a buddhist/taoist or Janist monk.

None of these things appeal to me.

What I suppose I have realised is that I no longer subscribe to any kind of group. As Schopenhauer and Nietzsche identified, the more one gains in intelligence and wisdom the more alone one becomes.

This process is bizarre but most enlightening I guess! Why would I want to belong to a society that makes its people so unhappy that it then thinks it is a good idea to medicate them so that they can tolerate their unhappiness?

I don't!!

What happened to me was that I unpicked my misery so far back that I tunnelled into the bedrock of my unconscious mind to reveal that society was the root cause of my misery.

I then read Stuart Wilde (the non crazy bits) and Nietszche. I then detatched from the tribal wave.

So, I flogged it up the metaphorical Nietszche mountain, sat in my metaphorical cave, gathered my honey like the bee (wisdom) looked down on society and just like Zarathustra I asked 'where the f*** are my outstretched hands to receive this?'

Now when I look at society I see madness everywhere.

Society is the madness. There is an infection in the collective. When I dare to air this view guess what happens? I am gaslighted as being mentally ill....

And so here I sit, on a metaphorical beach of paradise alone, waiting patiently for someone to row into shore... The problem is that no one has made it here except Nietszche and God...

I wonder if I should publish my allegorical novella? But if no one understands it then what's the point? Plus IQ has tumbled so far into the abyss since the days of Nietszche that there really is no hope of being understood - that and the psychiatrists are completely invested in 'chemical imbalances', greed, money and pills.

This is exactly what happened with Nietszche. Ultimately popularity was never a sign of genius!

So, I will continue to stand alone. Asking for a miracle from my Lord. I've emailed Joanna Kavenna who wrote the intro to Thus Spake Zarathustra. Perhaps she will respond?

If not I'm not sure of my next move... Perhaps God will direct a philosopher to this blog post? Let's chuck it out into the ether and see what it brings!!

Oh my days....

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