Psychiatrists & disagreements: when is someone going to actually help me for a change I wonder?!
Updated: Jan 28
Before I continue on the theme of spiritual awakening, madness, and mental illness (which I will be returning to tomorrow), I want to briefly discuss the most recent developments regarding my prescriptions, and this ongoing battle with the mental healthcare system that never seems to go away!
Once again, I’m feeling let down and annoyed this morning, because I’ve been trying to get my repeat for my medication through my GP AGAIN this week in order to cut the cost of private fees, yet, as usual, I seem to have come up against an intransigent brick wall.
Zero unity from the profession
The reason for this agro is that the NHS don’t like the dose of levothyroxine that I am taking, despite the fact that it’s exactly the same drug, at the same dose, that I have been on now for two years, in REMISSION from illness, with no side effects or problems.
You’d think they would actually want to help here (and show some interest), yet it would seem that that isn’t the case, as my NHS Trust (Oxford Health) are refusing to issue my repeat prescriptions.
My problem, once AGAIN, is not with my condition, dose, drug, or anything else – it’s with the system itself – it’s too ridiculous for words and I should probably walk away from this really, pay the extortionate fees and have done with it – but what about future patients? How is this ok for any of them?
They all need this to be sorted out, so for some reason or other I feel compelled to at least try….. I’m beginning to wonder why I do this though!
This scenario is just another classic example of how the disagreements and complete lack of unity in psychiatry does no one any good at all. In fact, the only one who suffers time and again in all of this is the poor patient – it’s all very perturbing to say the least!
Experimental treatment? What?!
It would seem that Oxford are happy to prescribe a dangerous and research-lacking treatment like ketamine (which backfired spectacularly and landed me in hospital for three months), but when it comes to a treatment that keeps me well with no side effects or risks - (Yes, I’ve had extensive bloods, bone density and ECG’s that are all fine) - they can’t help me at all – this is all too ludicrous to go on but….
What astounds me in all of this is that some NHS Trusts and GP’s are prescribing this drug /dose to private patients, but Oxford aren’t – this is so typical and I’m trying not to let it affect me – but this has all got to be sorted out for future patients, because, it is once again, simply not good enough!
What are my options here?
So, it looks like I have no option but to pay yet another extortionate private medical bill just to get a repeat prescription, even though I have no wish or need to speak to a psychiatrist because I’m not currently experiencing any significant problems.
The only other option would be to order this drug from abroad (it’s not the drug that’s the problem it’s the dose) but then I’m not really sure I trust that I’d be getting the right thing plus I’d have to wait too long and I need it by next week as I’m going away.
OR, I somehow find an empathetic doctor who is actually going to listen here, be FASCINATED by the fact that I am well with no side effects for the first time in 20 years, ASK me about it, support me, try to help me, and issue me the bloody prescription….
I’m so disappointed by the Oxford brigade, I really, really am. They know how ill I’ve been, and I’ve emailed my previous psychiatrists to tell them how well I’m doing so that they can look into this treatment for their other patients – what do you think happened? - Of course! - No reply whatsoever.
Even the radiologist at the Nuffield was fascinated to know about this treatment the other day yet the NHS psychiatrists aren’t interested at all…. My God this is all so frustrating.
Let it go! ……Or not?
It would be so nice to think that someone would actually (try to at least) help me here for a change, especially considering that I pour my efforts into these gratuitous blog posts on a daily basis so that I can help other people - but when it comes to someone actually helping me – oh no! It seems that would be FAR too big an ask!
Anyway, I will just breathe, move on, accept this for now, and try to do what I can to change all of this for future patients.
Somehow, in amongst all of this fall-out and bitter disappointment, I am feeling really quite sanguine about everything and am able to rise above it and move on!
How the hell I can do this is a miracle in itself but prolonged suffering seems to have this effect on people – a profound change in perspective - HOWEVER - I do want things to be better for future generations – I know it’s not ok for others to have to put up with all of this.
Anyway, rather than be bitter about the losses, failures, upset, and general cock-ups, I seem to have been able to reconcile with all of this because I know that being well enough to enjoy the day and help others is more important than pride, reparation, money, or any other material things (at least for now anyway!)
Tomorrow, I will be returning to the subject of spirituality and mental illness, but I really needed to get that out this morning and document it here, because, somewhere in the distant future, someone, somehow will notice this and say:
‘Oh f***, we should have helped this boy because he was right about all of this all along!’
Thanks for reading,
Speak to you soon,