Letting Go - For Good!

There comes a point when you simply have to drop the whole thing.

The labels. The analysing. The endless “my ex was avoidant,” “a narcissist,” “covert this,” “emotionally unavailable that.”

It becomes BORING.

Yes, I had an anxious attachment style. Yes, I understand why. Yes, I can see some of my unhealed avoidant friends still heading straight into emotional car crashes. Yes, I’ve watched people reject real love in favour of doormats or other avoidant partners, and yes — the whole thing can feel ridiculous.

But after you’ve cried. After you’ve been hurt. After you’ve processed it in therapy. After you’ve written about it a hundred and fifty million times…

You realise something quietly but clearly:

Now is the time to let go.

This is where many anxious people get stuck. I see that now. We do the work, gain the insight, connect the dots — and then we stay there. We keep revisiting the story, hoping for justice, validation, or a moment where the other person finally gets it.

You already understand why your ex ran from real love. You understand they haven’t done the work. You understand you can’t make people see themselves.

So you let go.

You let go of them. You let go of the anxious–avoidant framework. You let go of the whole story.

You simply prioritise your new life — one without unhealed people at the centre of it.

Let them do what they’re doing. Let them choose what they’re choosing. And let it go.

It sounds easy when written like that. It isn’t.

For a long time — especially after you’ve done the work — there’s still a part of you that wants them to see. You want them to feel what you felt. You want them to hurt just enough to finally go to therapy, finally recognise the damage they caused — to themselves, to you, and to the partner they chose instead.

But eventually, you realise something else:

It’s not your job.

You’ve done it. You’ve run the race. You’ve faced yourself.

Now it’s really time to let go — and to be unapologetically your healed self.

You understand people. You understand emotional unavailability. And best of all, you understand yourself.

That’s why I’m not going to write about this anymore.

My ex. My avoidant friends. All of it.

I let you go.