Dismissive avoidant ex: The root canal of suffering

The following video explains what happens with the dismissive avoidant—when they fall in love with someone deeply, truly… and still choose to walk away.

It’s one of the most painful dynamics you can experience: being loved by someone who can’t stay because their feelings for you were so overwhelming that they caused them to run. Someone who sees your heart, feels the connection, and yet rejects you—not because the love isn’t real, but because it’s too real. Too vulnerable. Too risky.

Instead, they often choose someone “safe,” "nice," "predictable". Someone they don’t feel as intensely for. Someone they can coexist with comfortably—like a roommate. Because safety, (and control) for a dismissive avoidant, feels easier than intimacy.

True love (true connection and deep feeling) is far too terrifying for the dismissive avoidant - that's why they can't be with you - they're cowards at their core - dismissing and avoiding their true emotions and burying them under a facade of indifference.

And if you’ve been on the receiving end of that rejection, it’s devastating.

You know they loved you. You felt it in the silence, in the way they looked at you when they thought you weren’t watching. In the breadcrumbs they fed you for years post relationship - messages that said so little when actually they were saying; 'I really miss you and I can't cope with the intensity of my emotions'. You know this person loves you and still, there's nothing you can do to make them choose you.

It's absolutely devastating for the person who IS capable of true love and connection and, in my case, the aftermath accounts for almost all of my appalling suffering.

This video explores why that happens, what’s going on underneath the surface for a dismissive avoidant, and why—despite the depth of the connection—you may have to make the painful choice to let them go - forever. Block, delete, bar and reject any form of future communication. Even if it's painful, even if it breaks your soul in two...

Because sometimes love isn't enough to keep a dismissive avoidant - nothing is when closeness itself feels like a threat to them.